


Breakfast In Bed

by sallyamongpoison



Series: Menu du Jour [4]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Breakfast in Bed, Insecurities, M/M, Nightmares, coming to terms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-05-05 10:03:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14616019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sallyamongpoison/pseuds/sallyamongpoison
Summary: In which, after waking up together, Dorian and Cullen share their first morning. Twice.





	Breakfast In Bed

Dorian had never been one to stay the night at anyone’s place. He’d always been the type to want to go home and sleep in his own bed. There usually wasn’t anything better than that. Dorian liked going home, well fucked and sated, then having a hot shower before settling into bed for the night. Any other time, with any other person, that’s what he would have done. He would have stayed well within his comfort zone, gone home, and not thought about it again.

But Cullen Rutherford existed in his life now.

Cullen Rutherford existed, and Dorian couldn’t even fathom going back home after the night they’d had. He hadn’t wanted to say anything, lest he be disappointed if Cullen wanted him to go, but Cullen had asked him to stay. So he stayed. He stayed, they had ice cream on the couch, then had gone back to bed to actually sleep. It was so vastly outside Dorian’s normal. It was, arguably, one of the most normal things in the world  _ to do _ ...but not for him. And yet, Dorian was happy to get into bed with Cullen and curl up against his chest. 

They’d slept. Dorian had half figured there would be a round two involved once they got back into bed, but no. Cullen draped his arm over Dorian’s body to keep him close, kissed at his forehead, and scooted in just that little bit closer. Under those covers, Cullen’s body was like a furnace. All those years of Fereldan breeding culminated in that strong body giving off heat until the bed was warm and toasty, and Dorian happily curled in closer to it. He was content to just be in that warmth. Since coming South Dorian was always cold, and Cullen was so very warm. It was better than any heated blanket, if only because those little kisses made him smile. He’d fallen asleep smiling, so had Cullen, and he slept better than he had in a long while.

Maybe he’d dreamed. Maybe he’d dreamt of something warm and nice. Dorian had never been much of one to remember anything after the first few minutes of waking up so he couldn’t be sure, but maybe he had. Maybe he dreamt of Cullen with his kind smile and the way he lit up the air around him with something like sunshine that could only come from within. He liked to think about that. Still, he couldn’t remember. But when he opened his eyes there was that fleeting moment of panic when he didn’t recognize the bed or room he was in. It made his heart thud in his chest, and for a beat it was like he was being crushed.

_ Cullen’s. It’s Cullen’s. It’s fine. Everything’s fine. _

Slowly his heart began to beat a little easier and that panic ebbed. Dorian had always hated that feeling of waking in someone else’s bed. It always meant the end of things. It meant he’d either have to sneak away to get dressed or awkwardly try to find his clothes while the other person tried to make small talk. Not here, though. Not with Cullen. Cullen was still wound around him, and everything was fine. It was fine. 

Wasn’t it?

That feeling of being crushed hadn’t gone away, but the more his brain switched on the more he realized it wasn’t some existential fear but was actually Cullen’s hold on him. They’d fallen asleep with arms and legs tangled, pressed chest to chest, but the hold had been easy. Light. Now Cullen’s arm was tense and held Dorian tight against him. Hard. And as Dorian blinked the sleep out of his eyes and focused on Cullen’s face he didn’t see that serene smile that had been there before, but instead Cullen’s mouth twisted down and his brow furrowed. Behind his eyelids Dorian could see his eyes moving wildly, and after a moment the hand that rested at his lower back balled in a fist.

Dorian lifted a hand, let it smooth up Cullen’s arm to brush at his cheek, “Cullen?” he asked softly. He’d heard once upon a time not to jar a sleepwalker awake, and in his hazy early-morning mind he figured someone maybe having a bad dream was somehow like that too. “It’s okay,” Dorian murmured, “it’s okay.”

Nothing happened for a long moment. Cullen’s face didn’t change nor did Dorian move his hand from Cullen’s cheek. Dorian thought maybe whatever it was had eased a little, but before too long Cullen’s breath went from even and deep to ragged and shallow. Dorian frowned too, mirrored Cullen’s downturned lips, and he shifted just a bit so he could sit up. “Cullen?” he repeated. Maybe it was time he woke the other man up.

“No,” Cullen breathed, “not...stop, stop. I can’t…”

“Cullen?” Dorian repeated a third time.

The hold Cullen had on him only got tighter, and Dorian leaned in to press a kiss to the top of Cullen’s head, “It’s okay,” he said again. He just wasn’t sure what to do. If there was anything  _ to do _ . It wasn’t as though Cullen could hear him at the moment. “It’s alright.” Maybe...maybe that would help.

He stayed like that for a while, with Cullen curled up tight around him. The dream had him, had a tighter hold than Cullen had on Dorian, and after a few minutes Dorian felt him begin to tremble just a little. He held Cullen tighter, buried his nose in those soft curls, and just breathed. This wasn’t at all how he expected the morning to go. Like last night, this was entirely out of his comfort zone. Dorian had expected kisses and smiles, breakfast, a shower...not holding Cullen through a nightmare. What was even more out of his comfort zone, though, was the fact that he didn’t want to move. He didn’t want to sneak away. He didn’t want to leave Cullen to it alone. How could he?

“ _Please_ ,” Cullen whispered, “leave me...leave me…”

Dorian shook his head, “I won’t,” he said. And he wouldn’t. Not now. Not when it was clear Cullen needed someone there.

Cullen took a few deep, shuddering breaths, and he jolted a little. It was like a full body twitch one might have just before sleep when that falling sensation hit. He let out a sound that was somewhere between a groan and a gasp, and brown eyes snapped open as the hold Cullen had on Dorian tightened again. Neither of them said anything for a moment, Cullen’s chest heaved as he tried to catch his breath, and he held Dorian closer.

“Maker,” he said after a few beats, “I...did I wake you?” Cullen shook his head, eased the hold he had around Dorian’s body, and sighed. “I’m so sorry. I should have...I should have said something. Dorian, I’m so sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?” Dorian asked. He let his fingers brush through Cullen’s hair before he tipped his chin down to kiss Cullen’s forehead, “and you didn’t wake me up. It’s fine.”

Cullen was quiet for a moment before he shook his head again, “No, it’s not.” The arm draped around Dorian moved and Cullen rubbed a hand over his face before he sighed. Despite the sleep the man looked so very tired. Weary. Like he’d hardly slept at all. “I...fuck, I’m…”

Dorian frowned, watched Cullen for a long moment before he ran his fingers through Cullen’s hair, “Don’t apologize,” he said, “are you...alright?”

There was a pause where the only thing Dorian could hear was their breathing. It was like Cullen was trying to decide on an answer, and that was actually a little worrying. He hadn’t meant to ask such a loaded question, considering that it was taking a moment to find the answer, but he was concerned. Genuinely. He worried if Cullen really was alright. 

“Yeah,” came the answer finally, and Cullen moved so he was sitting up. He rubbed both hands over his face, and turned to swing his legs over the side of the bed. Dorian sat up too, moved so he was sitting beside Cullen on the end of the bed, and reached up to rest a hand on one pale shoulder. Cullen took a breath, his body tensed for just a second, but then relaxed as Dorian rubbed his thumb along that soft skin.

“Do you need anything?” Dorian asked.

Cullen shook his head. He let one hand move to his own shoulder so he could cover Dorian’s, and he turned to let his cheek rest against their hands. “For this not to happen, ideally, but…” he sighed, “I was kind of hoping this wouldn’t happen while you were here.”

He blinked, “It’s not like you can control what you dream about,” and shuffled closer, “or when you dream about it.”

“I should know better by now,” Cullen answered, “it happens most nights. I just thought that maybe it wouldn’t because you were here.”

Cullen turned his head, tugged Dorian’s hand in a little more, and kissed at one bronze knuckle. It made a small smile touch Dorian’s face, and he squeezed Cullen’s hand. “Well, I’m here,” Dorian said, “and, you know, if you wanted to talk about it...it might help?”

A soft laugh fell from Cullen’s lips as his shoulders shook for just a moment, “I wouldn’t put that on you.”

“Is it ‘putting on’ if I asked?”

“More like I don’t want you to run screaming,” Cullen offered, “I mean, some...schmuck with issues isn’t exactly what anyone wants to wake up to.”

“Now I’m offended,” Dorian said, “if you think I run anywhere that isn’t an air conditioned gym.” He managed another smile and squeezed Cullen’s hand again. “But you don’t have to. I’m usually not much of one for the deep and meaningfuls either, and especially not right after waking up.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing,” Dorian said a bit more firmly, “I mean it, Cullen. You don’t have to.” He sucked in a breath, moved to kiss Cullen’s cheek, and slid off the side of the bed so he could stretch and stand up. “How about I get coffee going?” he asked, “we can have it in bed, if you want, or...on the couch?”

Dorian watched as Cullen’s brow furrowed just a little. He was staring off at the wall, but after a minute he turned to look up at Dorian. “You still want to have coffee with me?” he asked softly.

“Only if you want to have coffee with me,” Dorian pointed out. That made something sharp prick at his chest. Did Cullen want him to go? After last night and asking him to stay, did Cullen want him gone now?

“I…” Cullen began, then took a breath, “of course I do. Or, Of course I want us to. Have coffee. Stay, I mean. Stay and have coffee.”

Dorian nodded and bent to kiss the top of Cullen’s head, “So coffee, then,” he murmured into those soft curls, “okay?”

“Okay,” Cullen breathed. Both hands reached out to rest on Dorian’s hips, and he held him there for a moment. His grip was gentle, hardly anything, but then he pulled Dorian back in and wrapped his arms around his waist in a tight hug. Cullen head rested against Dorian’s stomach, and his hands were splayed across Dorian’s lower back. “Thank you,” he whispered, “for staying.”

For the moment, Dorian didn’t say anything. Instead he wrapped his arms around Cullen’s shoulders to hold him close before kissing his hair again and moving to head for the kitchen. This was...well outside his comfort zone. Far and away outside it. The staying had been one thing, something Dorian wouldn’t have done with anyone else, but to wake up and see Cullen so upset about having a nightmare wasn’t at all what he’d planned on. Nor, really, had he anticipated his own reaction to it. 

As he filled the coffeemaker with water Dorian let his mind wander. He was the type to be out the door first thing. If he did stay with someone, he usually snuck out before anyone’s eyes were fully open. But with Cullen he had stayed. He’d stayed and, as Cullen had put it, hadn’t run screaming at the prospect that there was something deeper going on with the man than just some attractive guy who was nice and good in bed. Deeper things were for relationships, and Dorian couldn’t really remember the last real relationship he’d been in. In college, maybe, but even then it wasn’t really something that happened to him. Staying around meant getting close, and getting close meant that not only did he have to deal with someone else’s issues but his own as well.

He scooped a the coffee into the filter, chewing on the inside of his cheek all the while, and leaned against the counter. This was getting dangerously close to something like personal growth. Like putting someone ahead of himself. Staying for more than just the promise of another round in bed, and that thought shook him a little. Not only was there the chance that he would stay, but that somewhere deep in his chest he  _ wanted to. _

“Shit,” Dorian breathed as the coffeemaker started making all the right kinds of gurgling sounds. Both hands rested on the counter, and the granite under his palms was nice and cool. It felt good in contrast to the bit of heat that had washed over him and the rock that was settled in his stomach.

Could he do this? Could he stay with Cullen, even after saying he would, and possibly get to know him more? Could he face whatever it was that made those nightmares happen? Could he listen? Really listen. Listen and be empathetic the way that Cullen deserved. Dorian had his fair share of waking up in a cold sweat when the past got a little too close. Could he listen? Could he...let himself go a little deeper?

One hand lifted to wipe over his face and smooth at his mustache. As of yet he hadn’t see what he’d woken up like, and Dorian could only imagine what it was Cullen had seen when he’d opened his eyes. That, too, was new. Had he been thinking clearly he might have gotten himself cleaned up in the bathroom before Cullen opened his eyes, but he hadn’t been able to pull himself out of Cullen’s arms. To do that when the other man seemed to be in such a way felt cruel, and even thinking as much made that weight in Dorian’s stomach sink lower.

What was happening here? 

Coffee was done a minute later, and while Dorian didn’t exactly know how Cullen took it he poured a bit of milk and sugar in one cup and left the other plain. Cullen could choose. Hopefully he hadn’t missed the mark by much. Then, two cups in hand he headed back to the bedroom where Cullen was still in the same place Dorian had left him a few minutes ago. That was...concerning.

“I didn’t know how you took it,” he said, and his voice seemed to shake Cullen from his thoughts. Dorian watched as Cullen shook his head, turned to look up at him, and a small smile touched his face. But it wasn’t a happy smile. Dorian could tell that much. It didn’t have the light and life in it that he’d come to know from Cullen.

Cullen’s hands reached out, “Milk and sugar?” he asked, and Dorian held out the mug in his right hand, “thanks.”

He took a seat beside Cullen, mug in one hand, and rested his other on the other man’s knee. “Are you okay?” Dorian asked.

The sound of Cullen taking a sip filled the air before Dorian turned, and he watched as Cullen swallowed. “It’s, um, not always the same dream,” Cullen said after a while, “it’s a lot of things that get smashed together. Depending on how things have been at the time, you know? Weird shit gets pulled in, and I’m not sure why.”

Dorian took a drink from his own coffee and winced slightly. It was strong and could have done with a little milk to even it out. Oh well. “Dreams are like that,” he said, “pulling stuff in.”

“It starts in Kirkwall,” Cullen went on, “the day...the day the riots happened. There’s an explosion and we’re going, and sometimes it’s the actual place, but then sometimes it’s a house or apartment building and it’s on fire. And I can’t move because…” His voice trailed off, and Dorian frowned as he cast a glance at Cullen’s shoulder.

He’d noticed them before: the scars. Three circle shaped ones in his shoulder and back, puckered and white, and he remembered that Cullen had said he’d been shot. Honorable Discharge. That was why. He hadn’t said anything about them, not the night before when he’d seen them in the shower, if only because that would have been too close. Too familiar. But maybe they were getting familiar now.

“There’s always someone there. Stuck. There was a bad fire about a year after I started, and someone was stuck in a bedroom. I tried to go in after them, but the place was falling apart,” Cullen murmured, “and every time it’s someone else- one of my sisters, someone I saw on the street, one of my team...but...last night, I…”

The hand on Cullen’s knee squeezed, “It’s okay,” Dorian said gently, “I get it.”

Cullen shook his head, “No,” and let one hand that was holding his mug cover Dorian’s on his knee, “I...it was you. I couldn’t get to  _ you _ .” 

That took him aback. First of all that Cullen dreamt of him at all, but that the dream he featured in was the one that had shaken him so badly. “Your mind puts people in like that,” he started, “I’m okay, though-”

“You don’t get it.”

“It was a dream, Cullen.”

“Damn it, I know that!” Cullen hissed. He turned, faced Dorian completely, and the look on his face was something that Dorian had never seen before. Fear. Concern. Hurt. A mix of those, but with something shaky behind his eyes. “But I couldn’t get to you, and I couldn’t  _ leave _ you,” he said, “and...Maker help me, but someone was trying to pull me out, but I wouldn’t go, okay? I wouldn’t...I  _ won’t _ . And I know better than that because it’s a deathtrap, but I’m not ever going to  _ leave _ you like that.”

That hit Dorian full in the chest, and for a moment he didn’t feel like himself. It was like he was a spectator, watching this conversation happen. This conversation that was happening only after a few dates and Dorian felt it so deeply in his chest that it made him ache. Cullen had dreamt of him. Had dreamt of protecting him. But the way he said it felt like so much more. More than what it should have been for what they were.

“I…” Dorian began, but couldn’t quite find the words.

“I know,” Cullen said, “this is where you make something up about having to go. Laundry or...whatever, right? It’s okay. It’s too much and I know that, but if I didn’t tell you-”

“You think I’m going to leave you here?” Dorian asked. His eyes narrowed and moved the hand on Cullen’s knee so their fingers locked together, “you can’t help what you dream about.”

Cullen sighed, “It’s not the dream. Not really. It’s me. It’s always...me, and I’m too much, and this shit happens and it scares people off. No one wants the guy who’s pouring out their soul the next morning after they’ve...you know.”

Well, Cullen certainly had him there. No, actually that wasn’t fair. It wasn’t that Dorian didn’t want  _ him _ , but Cullen had certainly divulged more in the last ten minutes than any other man Dorian had known did in ten months. Or more. He should have gotten up. He should have left. He should have made up some lie and said they’d see each other again, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. This should have been the line: the imaginary line that never got crossed because crossing it meant that he  _ cared _ . 

“Well, I’m not leaving,” Dorian heard himself say. He’d said it before he’d even thought it. His mouth moved and the words came out, and he should have backtracked. He should have caught himself. But he didn’t.

He didn’t because he  _ cared _ , and that was infinitely more scary than any man stepping over that line.

Neither of them said anything for a while. They just sat there, hand in hand, quietly. Occasionally one of them drank from the mugs they held, but for the most part it was them both staring off into the middle distance. Together. Alone, but together. Dorian couldn’t presume to know what Cullen was thinking, but he had to wonder if he thought Dorian was lying. The surprising fact was that he wasn’t. He wouldn’t blame Cullen for thinking as much either, considering...well, his entire life. Cullen didn’t know about that, though.

Finally, after what had felt like both hours and seconds at the same time, Cullen turned. He nuzzled his nose in at Dorian’s shoulder and lifted his chin to press a kiss where Dorian’s pulse beat. “You’re kind of fucking special, you know that?” Cullen asked softly, “no one...stays. I get why they don’t, but no one ever does. Until now. Until...you.”

“I’ll tell you a secret,” Dorian offered as he rested his cheek against the top of Cullen’s head, “I think if you were anyone else, then I wouldn’t stay.”

Cullen was quiet as he considered that for a long moment, “You really are fucking special then.”

At that, Dorian just chuckled, “I am, that’s for sure.”

Like that, resting against one another, they just sat and enjoyed their first cups of coffee. There was still something heavy settled over them both, but Dorian was loathe to address it. It weighed down like a truth he didn’t want to admit. Like something that if he talked about it then it might crush him. And maybe it wouldn’t be bad to be crushed, but Dorian didn’t want to have to put Cullen through anything else heavy or hard this morning. A nightmare was bad enough. Waiting for the other shoe to drop was worse. Even if there was the potential for something not so bad, Dorian didn’t want to put Cullen under any more strain.

“You still tired?” Dorian asked after a bit, “I know, uh, bad dreams can take it out of a person. Like you didn’t even sleep.”

Cullen shifted, nuzzled his face into Dorian’s neck, and sighed, “I am, a bit.” His voice was still soft, tired, but Dorian could hear the small smile that tipped the ends of Cullen’s lips upward. There was just something warm about his voice when he smiled, and hearing it made Dorian’s chest expand just a little more. “Feel like trying for a mid-morning nap?”

He turned his head, kissed at Cullen’s hair, and smiled, “More like I thought we might try a redo of the waking up.”

“Oh? And what’s that look like?”

Dorian’s smile grew, “It looks like you getting back under the covers for a little while so I can surprise you.”

“With…”

“Morning sex. Clearly.”

He could feel the laugh in Cullen’s chest before the other man shook his head, “Really?” he asked. Cullen lifted his head and Dorian looked into those beautiful amber eyes. There was a bit more light in them now. Light and mischief.

“Maybe. It’s a surprise, remember?” Dorian teased before he squeezed the hand he still held once and got to his feet. “Now,” he went on, and shooed Cullen back under the blankets, “you relax and I’ll be back in a little bit.”

Cullen was smiling, but Dorian saw it falter just a little. Not enough that he was frowning, but Dorian recognized that expression immediately. There was that concern again. Fear. “Dorian-”

“I’m not leaving,” he promised, “just popping to the kitchen. Okay?”

Then Cullen’s expression eased back into something a little more relaxed. Confused, but relaxed. “Okay,” Cullen agreed, “the kitchen. For a surprise.”

“Yes,” Dorian said, and leaned in to press just the softest kiss to Cullen’s lips, “get comfortable and I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

He watched as Cullen got himself settled back under the blankets. Admittedly, it did look very cozy, and Dorian would have rather liked to curl back up with him. That big bed, soft sheets, and Cullen’s warm body was a lovely place to be. But he had other plans. Other plans that didn’t  _ really _ involve sneaking back into bed to “wake” Cullen up with a bit of fun. Though, that could still be on the cards. No, he had something else in mind. Something that he’d often thought about when he let himself daydream but never had cause to make it happen. Something that, like the little domestic fantasies of cooking side by side with someone, he only allowed himself to contemplate when there was no chance anyone might know.

Except now Cullen would, and Dorian was oddly okay with that.

So he gathered up their mugs and headed for the kitchen, as promised. Dorian wasn’t a great cook by any means, though he could manage to at least feed himself. Hence why he’d even considered the cooking class at all, really. But breakfast? Breakfast Dorian could do. Cullen had all the makings for something good at least: eggs, bacon, a box of frozen waffles in the shape of a children’s cartoon. He could work with that. It wasn’t much, but Dorian could at least make something edible. That, and there was some part of him- down deep where he hid those fantasies like this, that was genuinely pleased to do it.

A rummage in the fridge afforded him some onions, peppers, and mushrooms too, and Dorian grabbed out a few to chop up so he could fry them off in a pan with a healthy pat of butter. Then bacon in another pan, eggs whisked in a bowl, and this was starting to feel a lot like something nice. It made the apartment smell great, that was for sue, and by the time he popped the rather silly looking waffles in the toaster he was rather proud of himself. By now the surprise was probably not much of a surprise, considering the scent of bacon, but Dorian didn’t mind. He was practically jittering for it to finish, actually

He wanted to present Cullen with breakfast. A real breakfast. Not a protein bar and coffee. Something  _ he _ made for Cullen. And for himself, but that was beside the point. 

He’d even gone so far as to find a little jug to pour the warm syrup into, and after everything was plated Dorian was feeling rather smug. It was a good spread: vegetable and egg scramble, bacon, and waffles. Hopefully it would be enough to make Cullen smile. Maybe it wasn’t the expected way to redo their morning, but Dorian had always prided himself on being different. Breakfast in bed wasn’t exactly  _ ab _ normal, but for him it was. And maybe for Cullen it was too, in that he figured that if breakfast in bed happened it was Cullen that made it.

It took a bit of juggling to balance even just Cullen’s plate, the syrup, and another mug of coffee, but Dorian managed to take it all back to the bedroom without dumping the whole thing on the floor. That was a feat. Dorian gently nudged the door back open with his foot, and looked in to see Cullen curled back up in bed with the blankets tucked up around his chin. His eyes were closed, his breathing was slow and even, and Dorian had to wonder if Cullen had actually managed to fall back asleep.

Waking him up almost seemed cruel.

“Cullen?” Dorian asked softly, “are you asleep?”

Dorian watched as Cullen’s chest rose, and the sound of a very fake snore filled the room, “Yes,” Cullen answered, “deeply asleep.” Another fake snore, “I completely ignored the smell of bacon and managed to go to sleep in this bed. Alone. Without you  _ or _ bacon.”

Maker save him. After everything that had just happened, how did Cullen manage to be so...so...cute? Funny, yes. Witty? Also yes. But like that, as he lay there and was genuinely committed to this fake sleeping Dorian found that Cullen was actually quite cute. Sweet. And it really did feel like a redo of their morning.

“Shame,” Dorian deadpanned, “I guess this means I’ll have to eat this breakfast by myself in the kitchen.”

One of Cullen’s eyes opened, then he lifted a hand to yawn against it, “Mm, oh...Dorian. Morning. I see you’ve come bearing breakfast this first time I’ve opened my eyes since I went to bed last night.

Dorian shook his head and moved to put down the mug and syrup first before he offered Cullen his plate, “Imagine that,” he teased, and kissed Cullen’s forehead, “let me grab mine and some forks and we can eat?”

Cullen nodded, and got himself situated so he was sitting up and leaned back against the pillows. It only took a moment for Dorian to grab his own plate and coffee, forks, and a few napkins just so Cullen’s nice linens wouldn’t get dirty, and by the time he made it back to the bedroom the pillows he’d slept on had been fluffed up for him to sit against as well. He settled in, rested his plate in his lap, and held out one of the forks and napkins to Cullen, “Lest you start eating with your hands.”

“Appreciated,” Cullen chuckled as he took them both. He took a breath, and looked down at the plate before he sighed. Dorian cocked an eyebrow, wondered if maybe something wasn’t right, but Cullen was smiling. It was one of those warm smiles, too. He looked happy. It suited him. Again, he was a sunbeam made flesh, and it warmed Dorian through.

Amber eyes lifted, and Cullen turned so he could lean over to press a kiss against Dorian’s cheek. It wasn’t just a peck, either. Cullen lingered, and Dorian leaned into as best he could without dumping his food in his lap. “Thank you for this,” Cullen said softly, “for everything. This is really nice.”

He smiled, and Dorian wrapped an arm around Cullen’s shoulders, “You deserve something like this,” he said, “I get the feeling it doesn’t happen as often as it should.”

Cullen sighed again and rested his head against Dorian’s shoulder for a long moment, “Maybe it can now,” he said, “more often. Whenever we want?”

“I’d like that.”

It was another few moments before Cullen sat back up and they ate in comfortable silence. That was something Dorian had never really expected, but with Cullen it was easy to fall into. With anyone else it felt weird to just be together and not have some kind of conversation going, if only because Dorian had often felt far too weird about sharing time and space with someone else, but this was good. He didn’t feel like he had to fill the silence. Really, it almost felt like if he did that it might turn awkward. He was happy to just sit in Cullen’s space, enjoy the feeling of the man beside him, and eat his fill until their plates were empty and stacked neatly on the floor beside the bed.

Full now, Dorian had to wonder what was next. He was starting to creep back toward being sleepy, and unless he intended to spend the rest of the day in Cullen’s bed he would have to get up and move. Except he didn’t really want to. Even with everything that morning, that conversation, Dorian didn’t feel that overwhelming urge to run. In fact, it was the opposite. What he wanted was to maybe go back to sleep for another hour or so and see where they were. Would that be so bad?

Would it be so bad to just...stay?

He’d almost opened his mouth to ask, though Dorian had a feeling Cullen would offer his home to Dorian for as long as he wanted to be there, but Cullen beat him to it. Not with words, mind, but instead with a sleepy smile and an arm going to wrap around his waist. Cullen curled up at Dorian’s side, rested his head on Dorian’s chest, and nuzzled his face in against Dorian’s neck. He breathed deeply, tangled their legs together, hummed quietly to himself. That had been what Dorian had been thinking of. They’d gone to sleep tangled up together, and while normally he might have felt some kind of claustrophobia for it, this didn’t feel like he was being crowded. Not at all. It was warm and comforting. Like he was where he was supposed to be.

“You make a good pillow,” Cullen commented, muffled though it was against Dorian’s neck.

He smiled for that, and let one hand trail along Cullen’s spine before his fingers moved to run through soft, blond curls. Cullen hummed again, and he shifted like a great cat that was looking to be petted more, “Is that so?”

“Mm hmm. ‘M gonna fall back asleep for real this time if we’re not careful.”

“I mean...you could, if you wanted. I might too, after that five star breakfast I made.”

Cullen chuckled, then craned his neck a bit so he could look up into Dorian’s face, “You don’t have anywhere you need to be?”

“Not especially, no.”

The arm around Dorian’s waist tightened just a little, and Cullen curled in a little closer. “I like this redo.”

“Me too,” Dorian murmured, “just...you know, for the sake of transparency, I’m staying after this redo as well.”

Cullen went a bit still and quiet for that. They just breathed together, Cullen pillowed on Dorian’s chest, and Dorian could all but hear the wheels in Cullen’s mind turning. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything. Maybe he should have let this redo be exactly that: a light and fluffy reimagining of what the morning should have been like. Then he’d gone and ruined it by opening his mouth. Shit. Why couldn’t he leave well enough alone?

“I’m glad,” Cullen said finally, “that you stayed. Last night, and after everything this morning. I don’t think I, uh, can really tell you how much I appreciate it.”

“I’m glad you wanted me to stay,” Dorian replied, “there’s not many who would, I don’t think.”

The hand resting at Dorian’s hip smoothed up a little, and Cullen tucked in under Dorian’s back. He was well and truly wound up in Cullen’s arms. For the moment he almost couldn’t tell where Cullen ended and he began. That had never happened before. He’d never let it happen before. Now here he was, and he didn’t want to leave it. 

Slowly, they both drifted back to sleep. Dorian felt Cullen slip from consciousness, felt his breathing slow for real as his grip eased. Warm breath tickled his neck and chest, and he closed his own eyes he trailed one hand along Cullen’s back. Falling asleep with someone was altogether new. Of course he’d passed out in bed beside another man before: tired and sated to the point where he could hardly move, but he’d never actually stayed awake while someone else drifted to sleep beside him. The rise and fall of Cullen’s chest lulled him, and when his eyes grew heavy Dorian just let himself fall. He was surrounded by the feeling of Cullen’s skin, the scent of him, and for the first time with another man he felt safe. Connected. There wasn’t a world outside that little room, he was convinced.

If there was, and Dorian wasn’t even so sure of that in his half awake state, he didn’t care to be a part of it. A world of two was better than he could have imagined, after all. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey lovely people! So, after this goes up I might be a little slow with the posting. I'm gearing up to move, and everything that comes with it. But once I'm settled I'll definitely be more than ready to get back to working! I'll see you guys on the other side!
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr! @sallyamongpoison


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